#thank u ray. forgiven for now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cielcius · 4 years ago

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So a 3rd year bakugou x reader where the reader has known bakugou since they were kids but he was a big bully to her just like w midoriya. They're dating now and she forgives give him cause she's seen his growth but she gets turned 13 again by villains and is kinda scared of bakugou the entire time, but everyone talks abt how he looks at her and shows he's cared throughout the years. She turns back and just remorseful bakugou fluff and reader reassuring she's forgiven him. Love your writing 🖤

SEVENTEEN GOING ON THIRTEEN | BAKUGOU KATSUKI

pairings: Bakugou x fem!reader

summary: Being seventeen was like a dream. But being thirteen was hell and Bakugou Katsuki was living for it all.

from the writer: hey hun! sorry this came later than usual but I hope u like it :) thanks for requesting and enjoy. have a lovely day/evening!

genre: angst, hurt & comfort, light fluff, happy ending

wc: 4.9k

notes & warnings: depictions of past bullying, villain attack, mentions of s**cide, cursing, reader gets turned into thirteen year old self

The bomb was near. You could hear it just as the last of the office workers had cleared the floor, the whirring of the elevator being the only noise besides the honking of traffic coming in from the streets below. Your breath was shallow, trying to lower any noise to the ability of your extent in order to get rid of the looming threat. You weren’t sure if it was any help that Bakugou was the only other person with you, seeing that his quirk was the very epitome of the rising threat, a sword hanging by a mere thread over the throne.

It was silent for a minute with only the ticking of the bomb until a voice shouted out. “There’s only a minute left, little heroes. You better surrender and hand over that money now before it’s too late.” The sinister, playful tone of the villain rang over the intercom, a mistake on their part as the both of you rushed to the floor above. The whole level was trashed as furniture were turned onto their sides and plant pots scattered around in pieces.

Taking your stance at the side of the door to the announcement room, you nod to Bakugou as he opened the door and was pushed back immediately. Holding his chest where the villain’s elbow had hit, Bakugou watched as you chased after the villain, activating your quirk as you got closer. They led you up to the roof, another mistake on their part as you cornered the villain.

The entrance was blocked by your figure but the villain pushed through anyways. Readying your quirk, you charge towards the villain before they push you back, their quirk activating as it rendered you unconscious, leaving only Bakugou to find you later in the form of your thirteen year old self.

—

“I’m not sure how long it will last this time. It could be days, maybe even weeks before they turn back to their normal form.” You couldn’t recognize the voice of the woman speaking, not being able to sense where you were. What had happened? The last of your memories had stopped when you were walking home with your friend Midoriya, helping him with his cuts and burns before his mother got back home to question him.

Your head felt as if someone had come up from behind and smacked you in the head with a bat. A bad feeling stirred inside of your stomach, making you feel nauseous in your sleep as you gulped down the bile that was threatening to come up. Your throat burned, you needed water but you were too scared to wake up, to open your eyes to the poor reality that was your life. Had you been caught with bruises and burns all over your body? The inflicted damage that you had desperately tried to hide as you tried to sympathize with your bully.

Finally, you peeled your eyes open, dirt crusting in the creases as you came face to face with a starch white ceiling. The bright luminescent light made you squint, bringing your forearm up as a shield against its rays. “You’re awake. How do you feel, L/n?” You turned your head at the sound of your name, a rugged man standing to the side of where you laid on a cot. Where exactly were you?

“W-who are you?” The smaller woman beside the man hands you a cup, presumably with water as you sit up and the warm liquid travels down your throat. “What’s the last thing you remember, L/n?” You blink, not sure if you should answer the woman as you look back at the man who gives you a nod in return. “I was walking home with my friend after school.” The two adults eye each other, clearly knowing that something was wrong.

“What school do you go to?” You answered with your middle school name, noticing the hesitant looks exchanged before they turned to you again. Perhaps they were a part of the government, though if they were then it would only bring a bigger suspicion as to why you were here. Fear charged up inside you like a flare, wondering what exactly had you gotten yourself into. “Okay. L/n, you’re a third year at U.A. but you’ve been hit with a villain’s quirk. So for a few days, you’re gonna stay in the dorms until your parents can come to pick you up from their trip.”

You were hit with a quirk? It seemed impossible as you didn’t remember anything about coming across a villain while walking home. It sounded more like a scam the more you thought about it, eyeing the two suspiciously as you shifted in your spot on the cot. “Where are my parents?” You don’t remember them telling you that they were taking a trip, the only possibility of there being one was for their anniversary, which wasn’t for another five months.

You followed the man out of the room silently, noting that the sunlit hallways were filled with students much older than you. Maybe they were telling the truth, you were a student at the famous hero school U.A. The students were all in their own world as lunch break was just ending, clusters of teens making their way to class. You looked up at the man who’s steps were sluggish as he led you outside to a building labeled 3-A.

“I have to teach a class but your room is on the left side of the building on the fourth floor. If you’re hungry, the kitchen’s right there and the bathroom’s over there.” Those were the man’s final words as he left you in the brightly lit building. You looked around the large room, taking in the green couches huddled in the corner around a television set, the dozens of tables set before the kitchen, and the bathrooms labeled to the side of the elevators.

You weren’t sure what you should do. It felt like you were intruding on them even though you had your own room. You looked down at the hospital attire where the legs of the pants seemed to drag on the floor everywhere you walked. Maybe a good start would be to change into more comfortable clothes that didn’t make you feel so exposed.

The man was right. Or perhaps you shouldn’t have been surprised when you stopped in front of the door labeled with your name. Walking in, you could tell it was your room, judging by the picture frame set on the desk that showed an old photo of you and your family. Again, it felt as if you were intruding on someone else’s home as you hesitantly looked around for where your clothes were being kept. Finding a good outfit that fit you well enough, you looked around the room more until you noticed a plethora of pictures tacked to the wall.

You assumed that it was either your friends that you had made or your classmates as you radiated a sort of maturity through the photos. Taking a larger one down, you looked at what seemed to be a class picture, absorbing the features of them all at the same time until your eyes stopped on two particular people. Your friend, Midoriya Izuku and your bully, Bakugou Katsuki.

The last time you had checked, Midoriya was quirkless and U.A. wasn’t exactly fit to train a quirkless hero with their harsh training sessions. Your fingers started to fidget with the corner of the snapshot, your eyes trailing over to the blond. Your shoulders tensed just at the sight of him, how had someone like him even managed to get into a school for heroes?

Putting the picture back, you sat at the edge of the bed, the familiar trimming of an old blanket crinkled under your fingertips until they were crushed in the hold of your fists. You looked down at your legs, clearly remembering how bruised they were until now when you had noticed the strange disappearance. You looked around the room again, the pit of your stomach writhing with nerves and something more as the overbearing feeling of displacement washed over you again.

The room was quiet, save for the ticking of a clock. You hadn’t noticed how long you sat there, calming yourself down before you actually ended up hurling. On your desk, there laid a time table of the school days. School was supposed to end at three thirty in the afternoon and it was ten minutes past. But as you stood up, contemplating to get a simple glass of water, you heard the chatter of people from all the way on the first floor, and you sat down again.

They may know you, but you didn’t have a clue about them except for their appearance. But that wouldn’t help if you didn’t even know their names, save for two specific people. At the thought of Midoriya, your posture relaxed just the slightest. Maybe he would be able to help you, that and you had to come out of your room eventually, right?

You opened the door, peeking through a small crack before deeming it safe to creep out of your dorm, until the gentle ring of the elevator stopped you in your tracks. A pink skinned girl walked alongside a brunette, both recognizable from a photo with all the class girls. Their conversation turned to a halt as they noticed you, frozen in the middle of the hallway. You blinked, and blinked again as you felt their arms wrapping you in excitement.

“L/n! You’re back! Are you okay? How are you feeling?” The pink girl held you with both hands by the shoulders as both girls stared at you, waiting for an answer until the brunette’s eyebrows turned down in realization. “Oh, sorry. We forgot to introduce ourselves. Um, I’m Uraraka Ochako. This is Ashido Mina. We’re your classmates.”

You followed them down after waiting for them to change out of their uniforms, choosing to stick with the two for now. Though you didn’t have many friends, they seemed nice enough to make small conversation with. Through them, you learned how everything and everyone worked in the dorms, all contributing to keep it from becoming a fire-lit dumpster.

It made you nervous to hear that Midoriya usually chose to stay back after class for extra training, coming back to the dorms later on but the welcoming aura of the two seemed to numb the feeling enough to not worry you. “Don’t worry, we’ll get everybody to introduce themselves. They might seem a little intimidating but I promise we’re not.” Uraraka smiled, having you return the same gesture as the elevator doors slid open.

Stepping out into what you learned was the common room, you took in the large group of people sat by the couches, all having their own conversations until they turned to you. Your back straightened, the sudden attention going to your shoulders until Mina brought you back out of your daze, the cheer in her smile breaking a hole in the shield you held.

A guy, named Ojiro you learned, made room for you on the couch as everybody presented themselves with their name and quirk. You even got a few demonstrations as Yaoyorozu made you a small clip for your hair with Koda calling over a bird to land on your shoulder. You excused yourself a little later after introductions, looking for some water as you wandered over to the kitchen. That was until you realized that you didn’t know which cup was yours, all obviously personalized to fit the owner.

You walked back over to where everybody was on the couches, about to speak up until someone did it for you. “Y/n.” Him. You had forgotten, and you cursed yourself for it, for letting your guard down too fast, too early. You gulped down the once again rising bile in your throat, not wanting to look at him until the force of his gaze made you.

Just at the sight of blond hair, you stepped back, eyes wide as an involuntary whimper rumbled in your throat. Your hands wrapped around the edge of your long sleeve, palms clammy as you made contact with red, with fear. Why was he saying your first name? Why was he saying your name at all? The only thing he ever called you was something along the lines of weak, a failure, a nobody.

Everybody could sense the change in the atmosphere at the new presence of Bakugou, remembering that you were childhood friends, but perhaps ‘friends’ wasn’t the right word. You looked back down to your feet, wanting to be back in your dorm under the covers where not even the monsters under the bed could reach you. You wished they did, maybe you could have been deprived of this horrid moment as nobody dared to utter a single word.

“Um, can I talk to you?” You flinched at his words, his voice bringing back the memory of what he had done just today. Well, today for you but to him, that was three years ago in the past. Your eyes adverted the side, not wanting to answer until you heard him walk closer. Again, you saw the epitome of fear through his eyes as he started to pull you away by the arm. Your breathes were fast, shallow until he stopped to look back at you with something you couldn’t recognize.

“Bakugou.” A voice called for him but his eyes were on you and for you only. He realized that you were your thirteen year old self, still in the time of your life when you both were at your worst. Slowly, he let go of your arm, breaking slightly at the loss of contact with you, but right now, maybe it was for the best. Looking from where his hand left your wrist, he looked back up to you, but you still wouldn’t look at him. He noticed how you were getting further, desperate to get away from him. Was he really that bad? Bad enough to make you act like you were standing in front of the devil himself?

“Can I just talk to you— please?” He could tell how shocked you were at the extra word, probably wondering if that had been in his vocabulary this whole time. But surely, even you could see how desperate he was to just be able to speak with you, to touch you, to just be with you. Finding you just a bit shorter, a bit chubbier, a bit younger, at the top of that building had set him off, hoping that it was only your appearance that had changed. But it seemed as life wanted to test him with your rewinded mindset, pulling his biggest fear up to the surface to act as the first question.

But he didn’t work to change for nothing, for you to be scared shitless of him once again. He heard his name again, almost moving to shout at whatever extra was trying to interrupt but he kept himself restrained so as to not scare you. “L/n, just three minutes and I'll bring you back. I swear.” It felt wrong saying your last name, addressing you in such a formal way when he had just gotten used to calling you by your given name.

Maybe you were still suspicious of him, wondering when he was going to drop the nice act but he wasn’t acting, and everybody knew it. Even if you weren’t aware of it, seventeen years old or thirteen, he would do anything to make you happy, even if it wasn’t because of him, even if he wasn’t in the picture. And maybe it was cheesy and way out of character for him to say this but he’d do anything to get you to even smile, laugh, anything that would make your life better because if it weren’t for him, that’s how it would’ve been. Better.

He should’ve been the one making you happy instead of the other way around when you agreed to talk with him, but he took it as a win anyways. One win closer to getting you back, to show you that he would never in his lifetime hurt you ever again. The pain was something not only inflicted on you, but on him too, and he beat himself up even more every second as he watched you follow behind him out of the corner of his eye.

Turning a corner, Bakugou faced your figure where you had yet to look at him, choosing to keep your eyes to the ground. He held back the temptation to sigh, becoming unsure of how to handle the situation in the three minutes he had promised. Reaching out a tentative hand, he waited for your reaction until you froze, enough to tell him how scared and uncomfortable you were. He couldn’t physically reach out to you, not right now, and so he’ll use his words instead, hoping that it might mend the thin strand holding the blade above your heads.

“I know I wasn’t really a good person in middle school, alright? I was a shitty brat who didn’t know better but really, I’ve changed.” Said like every other toxic antagonist in the movies. It was then that Bakugou realized how hard it really was to come back from something so horrible, understanding yet questioning how he felt years ago back in first year when you had confronted him about his past behavior. And he hated this feeling, the feeling that made him the villain of the story when all he wanted to be was, your hero.

He wanted, needed, to say something else before he had to let you go, and yet there were no words left to be said but two. “I’m sorry.” It was quiet, soft. The words falling like feathers from his mouth as it landed on the floor of your mind, waiting to be picked up and processed. “I know what I did in the past isn’t forgivable, and it shouldn’t be, but you still did it anyways. Sometimes I still wonder how I managed to get you, but now I—..... fuck. Y/n, I’m sorry.”

This entire time you hadn’t spoken, hadn’t moved an inch, hadn’t even made an effort to even look at him as he broke, trying to get you to see how sorry he was. His chest hurt, like his heart was aching for you even though you were right there in front of him, but that wasn’t it. He missed you. Tears leaking, he waited for the soft touch of your fingertips to wipe them away but you only stood there, scared motionless as he silently sobbed.

“L/n,” He called you by your last name this time. “I was a bad person, I know, but let me show you that I’m not like that anymore. Please.” This wasn’t like him. Bakugou Katsuki, the one you knew, would never say please, not to someone like you. But this wasn’t your Bakugou, this was someone else, a stranger who wanted to show you who he really was. You knew you shouldn’t open the door for strangers, your parents had taught you that well, but maybe just this once, you would leave it unlocked for him to explore and show you what type of person he really was.

“Okay.”

—

He was powerful, even more-so than he was in middle school. Frankly, you were never able to imagine how the public would ever be able to see him as a hero but there he was, getting his special attack ready against the villain ahead. You couldn’t find Midoriya in the crowd, lost to the boy as you chose to watch Bakugou’s next move. You weren’t sure what to expect when Midoriya tried to take you to see Bakugou on patrol, only remembering that villain activity had just started to rise as the Symbol of Peace appeared less and less every day.

You supposed that it was still the same in this timeline, not noticing how the crowd had stepped back to give the rising hero space for battle. You wanted to look away, go back to finding your friend where you had lost him but your eyes wouldn’t let you. There were still a few running amok, trying to get out of range as the villain attacked, giving Bakugou only seconds to counter and avoiding the crowd by a single hair as the clouds of smoke filled the street.

The smoke brought you back, coughing as your eyes stung from the particles. You shouldn’t have strayed far from your friend, trying to find a certain store when the villain appeared. As the interior of your elbow muffled your coughs, your body was pulled by a force, an arm around your waist as a voice told you to ‘hang on tight’.

Bakugou blasted you away from the scene, knowing full well that Midoriya would find a way to defeat the villain on his own with no context provided. Just a few blocks away would be safe enough for you, Bakugou landing with his hold on you becoming tighter. “Are you okay?” It had only been two days since you turned thirteen again, still scared of Bakugou as he put a tremendous amount of effort into his actions in order to make peace with you.

You nodded, beating yourself up not only for getting lost but for potentially putting Bakugou in danger as he made an effort to save you. Yet for the first time in your life, your feelings about him weren’t filled with just sorrow, but with realization and something along the lines of what may have been hope.

“Why don’t you go take a swan dive off the building? And take your little friend with you while you’re at it, bitch.” Bakugou sneered, making you back up against the window-pane wall. You should’ve taken up your teacher’s offer for art club, maybe you’d be safe there instead of crying pathetically alone in your classroom as Bakugou once again made time in his schedule just to put you down in the dumps. But that was low, especially for someone who was supposedly aiming to become the number one hero.

Still, you said nothing. You didn’t know what to say, it’d be ill-mannered of you to wish the same of him, and you weren’t going to stoop to his level no matter what. And so you said nothing. Standing there as you tried to censor his words until you were on the ground, holding your cheek where his quirk had burned you. You wouldn’t be able to hide that, you’d have to come up with an excuse, perhaps you could say that you spilled boiling water on your face as you tripped during home economics.

You hadn’t realized that Bakugou and his goons were already gone until the classroom was silent once more. Getting up, you watched from the window as your oppressor walked away, grinning like he hadn’t just made an impact on someone’s life for the worst. As the saying goes, the axe forgets what the tree will always remember.

But maybe the axe was brand new, finding its purpose as it realized that maybe hurting the tree wasn’t a very good thing.

—

“L/n! We forgot to tell you but we usually have game nights on Thursdays. Did you wanna join?” You looked at Kaminari, then to Sero who stood just behind him, and finally to the rest of the class where they were sat by the couches. “Um, I guess.” The honey blond grinned and pulled you over to a seat on the couch, close enough to see the old board game that had been pulled from the depths of the dorm closet, Monopoly.

“Should we really be playing this? You know the first and last time we played was in first year and five people cried from going bankrupt.” Said five people looked away from Yaoyorozu as she voiced her concerns. “It’ll be fine, we’ll play nice this time.” Oh how naive Class 3-A can be at times, a big loving family just waiting to be broken apart by the board game famous for tearing friendships down until there was nothing left but tears.

But saving it for the actual game, Iida suggested playing in teams to which everybody agreed to. As everybody paired up, the slow realization dawned upon them as they realized that Bakugou was usually the one to pair up with you, until now. “Bakugou, you know what, how about we switched partners, Hagakure usually gets frustrated with me anyways.” Mina pulled on his arm, trying to get him from getting closer to you as you shrink in your spot on the couch. Perhaps it would have been best to stay in your dorm tonight.

“Fuck off, Raccoon Eyes. I don’t care what age Y/n is, we’ll still beat the shit out of everybody here.” With hands stuffed in his pockets, he plopped down softly in the spot next to you, eyeing you as your shoulders conveyed the devastatingly familiar uncomfortable reaction.

He wasn’t sure if he should play now, regretting not taking Mina up on her offer. What was he thinking, making you uncomfortable like this? Should he move away? Bail?

You still couldn’t clearly look at him, making him wonder if his actions were really doing anything to show you how different he actually was now. Shoji passed out the materials, quietly placing them in yours and Bakugou’s area as Bakugou continued to gaze at you.

It was your team’s turn to roll the dice. “Do you.. wanna play or not?” Holding out his hand with the small cubes, he looked away to give you a chance to breath under the weight of his stare, now conscious of how pressuring he may have been just now.

A minute passed, or at least what felt like a minute. Bakugou was starting to think that maybe you had gotten up and walked away, abandoning him and his effort until he felt a soft tickle in his palm as you grabbed the dice to roll.

His eyes whipped around just in time to see a faint turn of your lips, something of a smile and maybe some more as you moved the little figure up a few spaces before returning to your original position beside him.

A little aways from the couple, Yaoyorozu and Kaminari whispered to each other as they observed you. “Aw, look at the way he’s staring at her though.” The honey blond followed the darker-hair’s gaze to where she gestured.

As told, Bakugou was staring just like he always did, but nobody dared to point it out as usual, instead leaving the two to their own devices. “It’s hard to believe that he’d look at her any other way, don’t you think?”

—

“Katsuki!”

He never thought he’d be able to hear his name fall from your lips with such fervor ever again as he turned to you. After just a week and a half, you were back to third year Y/n, a student at U.A. and the loving girlfriend of Bakugou Katsuki.

He was glad— he missed you, but something felt off as he hugged you again. Your touch was the same, warm and full of much love and then some, but a feeling resided still in the core of Bakugou’s stomach. A feeling that told him there was something that needed to be fixed.

You could tell, that it was Bakugou who was there but at the same time, it wasn’t him. Knowing your thirteen year old self well, you were scared shitless of him, never daring to make a comeback. But what his past actions did, affected not one but the both of you. “Katsuki,” You kept your hand placed on the swell of his cheek. “Look at me.”

It was funny now that it was him who couldn’t stand to look you in the eyes, not scared but sorry. Sorry that he was never able to fix anything with your visiting past self, sorry that he couldn’t make a bigger effort, sorry that he ever did that to you in the first place. “I know you’re a good person, and that you’ve changed. I know, but do you?”

He wasn’t sure what he should’ve expected you to say, but certainly not that. A simple question with a bigger meaning, one that he couldn’t bring himself to answer.

Was he really a good person? Had he exaggerated who he really was to your past self? He was a stranger you had left the door open for, but the moment he stepped in, the chance to take everything dear to you was too good to pass up.

“Y/n.... I’m sorry. I don’t know if I’m a good person, if I’m good enough for you—” His eyes snapped up at the gentle slap to his cheek where you previously held on, interrupting his poorly rehearsed apology.

“Bullshit, Katsuki. You should know better than to think that I still haven’t forgiven you for that. I have and look where we are now. Katsuki, I love you. Not only because you’re a good person or because you changed but because you put the effort in trying to make that change.

“You could’ve let me be with the others but you still wanted to change the image of yourself in thirteen year old me’s mind,” You brought your other hand to fully hold his face. “Katsuki, you’re a good person.”

And it was as simple as that. You loved him, he loved you, and that was all you needed. Bakugou couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, closing them tight as tears threatened to leak down his cheeks. Quietly, without another word, you brought him in for another hug.

Katsuki, you’re a good person.

#tea stained letters 🍵#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha bakugou x reader

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saltine-kakyoin · 5 years ago

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🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it.

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt.

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

#long post #i went into a deep meditative state typing this... i don't even remember typing some of this ghdhs #it is 3 am and i am BOPPING to the temptations tho so it's all good #this ask meme is so fun.. litch rally anything w music is bound to be a Good TIme #thank you for asking again!! <3 #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist

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stillthewordgirl · 7 years ago

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LOT/CC fic: Subterfuge (ch. 2 of 6)

Subtitle: “Five Times Sara and Len Nearly Got Busted–and One Time They Did.” Immediate follow-up to “Date Night.” Sara and Len are trying to figure out their new relationship without cluing their teammates in quite yet. That, however, is easier said than done.

There are a few small Easter eggs here. Thanks to @larielromeniel for the beta! Can also be read here on AO3 or here on FF.net.

It’s not that they don’t want to spend more time alone together. They definitely do. But the Waverider is small, and their teammates are nosy, and there’s no chance to do anything more than share the occasional short talk, or a few minutes in the training room, or the briefest kiss.

Not if they don’t want to spill the beans, anyway.

Len, frankly, wouldn’t mind at all. Hell, he’d sort of like to scream to the hills that he’s slept with Sara Lance. (Not that sleeping had all that much to do with it, but whatever. He can do euphemisms.) That he has every hope and intention of continuing to sleep with Sara Lance. That he’s…

That he’s pretty sure he’s falling in love with Sara Lance.

He's never felt this way in his misspent life before, but it doesn't matter. He knows. It's unnerving and exhilarating at the same time.

He's not sure she feels the same. He hopes she does, or that she'll get there. But in the meantime, well…some time would be nice.

But even…especially…on a time ship, that's in short order. Right after their date night in Central City, they get bit by a wave of aberration reports, one right after another, and then a wave of time prate activity right on top of them.

Eventually, it's so frenetic that the team splits up. Amaya, Stein, Nate and Jax go to 2015 Orange City to deal with a confused and angry group of would-be members of the Spanish Inquisition. (Nate and Ray happily toss Monty Python quotes at each other until Sara separates them.) Sara, Len, Mick and Ray head to late 1800s New York City to keep time pirates from pushing William Randolph Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer into instigating the Spanish-American War sooner than the timeline demands.

Once there, Sara, making a snap judgment on the abilities of her people, sends Ray and Mick to Cuba in the service of the New York Journal and the New York World, respectively, and takes Len to the streets of New York City to try to stop the special (and fortunately, very limited) editions both papers had printed with very similar (and thoroughly fake, fed to them by the time pirates) stories blaming new, creative and fictitious Cuban atrocities on Spain.

War will still start, but it needs to start in April 1898, not before.

Len, a former street kid of sorts (his Lewis having died considerably earlier than Earth-1’s Lewis, leaving him and Lisa to the streets for a few years, something that’d turned out to be rather less damaging than the alternative) had appealed to the newsies who already had the papers. Well, in all honestly, he’d bribed the hell out of them, having done his usual amount of research before leaving the Waverider and appealed to Gideon for a copious sum of 1898 currency. She’d calculated the amount that could enter the U.S. economy without ill effect, then grudgingly provided it, Len having figured out how to sweet-talk her nearly from day one.

The kids are willing to hand over the papers provided Sara and Len pay them even better than they could have earned for a long day of work. Sara, eyeing their ragged thinness, hands over perhaps a little more money than she strictly has to. From his slight smile, she’s pretty sure Len notices—and does the same.

Still, it occurs to some of the older, more cynical newsies that they could get some cash and still have the papers to sell…all they have to do is wait and take them back from this pair of “soft” and apparently rich folk.

Despite how everything eventually works out, Sara curses herself for being off her guard, for being a little too self-satisfied at being able to help these kids, forgetting that one doesn’t live long on the street by being unwilling to take chances and do things that aren’t, precisely, on the side of any angels.

“Ow!” She stares down at her bleeding wrist, at the…oh, hell, interior of her bleeding wrist, exposed by an unexpectedly sharp blade held in the hand of a filthy and mutinous-looking teenager, who scowls at her just before he reaches down and grabs a bundle of the newspapers, starting to back away.

“Are you kidding me?” she tells him incredulously, before kicking the knife out of his hand and grabbing the papers back with her non-injured hand. “I know we just gave you, like, double your daily take.”

“Sara?” Len’s at her side and scowls at first the injured wrist and then the teen, who’s just foolish enough to scowl back at him. A pair of compatriots move to his side, then another, and they’re all clearly trying to decide whether or not to rush the pair of unexpectedly competent intruders.

Len shakes his head, then pulls out a somehow still pristine handkerchief and gently wraps Sara’s (now quite painful) wrist in it. She lets him, keeping an eye on the boys, hearing the others they’d paid off scurrying away. She doesn’t blame them; most of them are just kids, and even with her wrist, the biggest part of taking this lot down will be not hurting them too much…

But then, another teen is there, shoving the one who’d held the knife backward, standing between him and Sara and Len. He’s shabby like the others, but not quite as disreputable-looking, somehow, and there are a few other kids lingering around with him, like they’re letting him take the lead.

Len, who’s still scowling mightily and holding Sara’s wrist, snaps out, “Who the hell are you?”

“Jack Kelly,” the boy—the young man--tosses over his shoulder. “Get outta here, you two. You OK, ma’am?”

“I’m fine,” Sara grits out, even as she knows she’s not. If she doesn’t get back to Waverider, there could well be damage, especially since the blade had been quite dirty. Infection doesn’t respect League training. “Thanks.”

“Don’ mention it.” The young man eyes his opponents, then yells, “Scrapper!”, nodding as another, younger boy steps up.

“Make sure ‘dose bundles stay here,” he orders, then glances back at Sara and Len. “We’ll make sure these papers don’ get out.” His sharp gaze sharpens a little more as she eyes him. “Yeah, I get it. You got some reason not to want dese to spread. And you don’t seem like the ‘oh, my husband’s in da police news’ type…call it instinct. You helped dose kids: you didn’t have to pay ‘em extra, but you did. We’ll help you.”

Len nods back, and Sara gets the impression he recognizes a kindred spirit. “Got it,” he clips out himself. “Thanks.” Then, switching his grip to Sara’s good wrist and catching her eye, he tugs it.

And with one more glance at the standoff behind them, they’re gone.

“You get to the medbay,” Len tells her as soon as they’ve made it back to the Waverider, parked on a New York City rooftop. “That looked bad. I’ll check on Mick and Ray, and the others.”

Sara wants to argue, but the handkerchief is soaked through now and her wrist hurts like bloody hell. She nods, and they split, Len to the bridge, Sara to medbay.

Gideon, once her sensors have gotten a good look at the wound, reports that nothing too important (in other words, tendons: Sara knows perfectly well she’d already have bled out if an artery had been hit) has been damaged, but the injury’s in desperate need of cleaning. Sara settles in to let the medbay tech do so, sighing and closing her eyes as the wound is numbed.

The process also has a soporific effect, and the next thing she knows, she opens her eyes at a sound to see Len not quite rushing in the doorway. He relaxes as he sees her, slowing to a saunter to make his way across the room at a more leisurely pace.

“I told you she was fine,” Gideon’s voice tells him somewhat tartly. “I was not going to wake her up just to assuage your paranoia or your distrust of my assurances.”

“Forgive me, G,” Len tells the annoyed AI smoothly, eyes still on Sara. “I’m an…evidenced-based…guy, myself. I trust you, just had to see for myself.” He pauses right at the bedside…well, chairside, since she hadn’t reclined the seat. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Sara repeats, amused, studying him and then glancing at her arm, still wrapped into one of the medsleeves used for minor (and sometimes more major) repairs. “Gideon? Am I done?”

“You are, Captain Lance.” The AI still sounds slightly irritated, although a little mollified by Len’s apology. “The wound is clean, and the edges are sealed. Keep it wrapped and try not to use that hand too much for a little while, but it should be fine.”

“At least it’s my off hand,” Sara murmurs, gently pulled her arm out and studying the thin new scar there. “Thanks, Gideon. Seriously. That knife was filthy.”

“There were indeed some dangerous bacteria in the wound.” Definitely mollified now. “You are forgiven, Mr. Snart. Worry is a very human trait.”

It may be, but Sara also notices that Gideon no longer even pretends to act like she’s not capable of hurt feelings or irritation. Smiling, she gets to her feet, but Len’s standing so close that she has to halt right there, studying his expression.

“You were worried?” she says after a moment.

A slight smile, but the way he glances away tells her more than any words. “Well, as you said, that was filthy,” he murmurs. “And you were really bleeding. I was…concerned.”

“Ah.” She studies him. “The others?”

“All well.” He perks up a little. “Amaya said her group is dealing with things just fine, but it’ll be a little while yet. Unexpected complications.”

“Of course there are.”

“And Ray and Mick say to tell you they have it in hand. They’re working together to utterly confound their ‘bosses’ until the time comes.” He snickers. “They’re having fun with it. Ray’s a little surprised to see what a good writer Mick is.”

Len, however, isn’t, Sara notices. “Good,” though, is all she says. “So…it’ll be a little while?”

“Until they’re back? At least a day, for Amaya and crew. Longer for the others.” He blinks at her…then narrows his eyes. “At least a day.”

“And our part is done.” Sara licks her lips. “Gideon? Is it?”

“Very few of the limited editions got out, and Mr. Rory and Dr. Palmer are now providing the papers with such conflicting and wild information that it will not be effective for the time pirates’ purposes. And they have already left the time period, presuming that they can simply come back and reap the benefits of their warmongering.”

Their eyes meet again.

And then Len moves a little closer. “I think you need to go rest. In your room.”

“I need to go rest,” Sara agrees, looking up at him. “In my room.”

They stare at each other.

Then, moving just slowly enough that Sara could certainly pull away if she wants to (she doesn’t want to), Len steps forward and sweeps her up into his arms, right off her feet, making her laugh as he turns for the door, heading toward the captain’s quarters she’d taken over not so long ago.

“I can walk!” she tells him mock-sternly, even as she wraps her arms around his neck and leans into him.

Len smirks at her. “I know. But let me be dramatic.”

“Since when has anyone ever managed to stop you?”

He snickers, but by that time, they’re at her room. Gideon opens the door for them before they even get there, which would be a bit creepy if it wasn’t so handy, given that they’re already kissing as Len moves them over the threshold, and toward the bed.

“Captain Lance? Mr. Snart?”

Len groans as the AI’s voice penetrates his consciousness, rousing him from a sound sleep. Sara burrows into him with a sleepy and annoyed murmur, burying her head in his collarbone, but then sighs, pulling away just a little.

“What?” she says with annoyance laced with concern. Gideon really wouldn’t bother them without reason, Len knows, but that doesn’t mean they want to let reality enter their warm cocoon. (His natural body temp is a little lower than the average, but between the heat they’ve generated and the insulation of the cover, it’s quite cozy.)

“Mr. Rory and Dr. Palmer are approaching the ship…”

“What?” Sara sits bolt upright, and while the view is lovely, Len’s a little distracted himself, trying to figure out how much time has passed while they were so thoroughly enjoying themselves.

“They brought the jump ship back,” Gideon tells them. “The current timeline is stable and as it should be.” She pauses. “It seems the time pirates found them out much sooner than we anticipated and came to eliminate them. It did not work.”

That’s good, but… Len and Sara both groan. “They didn’t…” Sara starts.

“The pirates are in the custody of the Spanish authorities, rethinking their life choices.” Gideon’s tone might almost hold amusement. “That is Dr. Palmer’s choice of words. Also, one or two may be slightly singed.”

“And there’s Mick’s.” Len sighs. He glances at Sara, who’s eyeing him, and realizes just what she’s thinking. It’s not at all what he’d like her to be thinking. “You want me to get outta here before they can figure out where we are, don’t you?”

She sighs, bringing her legs up to her chest (damnit) and wrapping her arms around them.

“This isn’t how I’d prefer everyone to find out,” she says quietly. “So…yes. Please don’t take it…”

“It’s OK.” He can be patient. He can. Especially if it means a potential future with Sara Lance, and more of the activities in which they’ve spent the past day or so. Peeling back the covers and climbing stark naked out of bed, he hunts down his clothing…then realizes something that might clue any interested observer in. “Crap. Uh. Well, hopefully I can get back to my room before either of them sees me.”

“Hmm.” Well, at least Sara’s watching his little exhibition with that particular mixture of smugness and desire, but she blinks at his words. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t have much reason to be wearing 1890s street clothes, let alone such worn ones, around the ship.” Len brandishes his trousers at her. “These aren’t that comfortable.”

Sara’s lips twitch, but she nods as Len, grumbling, pulls the pants on. “I see the problem. Gideon, help Len get back to his room OK? Avoiding the others?”

“I will do my best, but it’s not like Mr. Rory is predictable.” The AI’s tone is frank, and perhaps a little amused.

Len rolls his eyes, buttoning his shirt. “Yeah, yeah. OK.” He pauses a moment, then crosses back to where Sara is watching him and leans in to steal one more, sadly brief, kiss. “See you later.”

She kisses him back, then sighs and pulls away. “Later.”

“They are now on board. Dr. Palmer has asked where you two are. I’ve reported that the captain is in her room…and that you are heading for the galley.” Gideon’s tone is definitely amused. “It is, strictly speaking, true. Your room just happens to be on the way, yes?”

Len rolls his eyes, amused in turn that the AI is showing so much of the personality he’d always suspected she has. “Yes, indeed,” he drawls, picking up the pace. “And where are they?”

“Dr. Palmer is in the library, checking something. Mr. Rory is heading for the galley, but taking a different path, but so…ah…actually…Mr. Snart!”

And then, just before Len gets to his room, Mick rounds the corner ahead of him, pauses, and does a 180 to consider him.

“So. Weird Snart,” he comments, folding his arms. “S’up with the clothes?”

And so much for no one noticing. Len lifts his chin and decides to power through. “I told you to call me Len.”

The other man shrugs. “Sometimes the other name fits more than others,” he mutters. “Gideon said you were headin’ for the galley. Thought it was from yer room. Why’re you runnin’ around in that get-up?”

“I had to…” Don’t hesitate too much. “…to check something.”

Mick stares. “What?”

I could really use a rescue right now, Gideon. His brain (which has not been the organ in charge for the past half-day or so) doesn’t want to remind him of what’s the other direction besides Sara’s quarters. “…in the medbay. A test.”

A frown. “What kinda test?”

Please, Gideon? “Sara…” When Mick’s eyebrows rise abruptly, Len panics and tries to head off any possible misconceptions. “…there were some weird bacteria in her cuts. Just making sure it didn’t show anything odder than expected after Gideon tested it. It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. How are you?”

Mick gapes at him. Len considers, then decides to cut his losses, gives the other man a smirk, and tapping the door, ducks into his room.

With any luck, Mick will just forget the whole thing. Right?

#subterfuge #captain canary #sara lance #leonard snart #legends of tomorrow

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thronelessprince · 7 years ago

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Mr. Angel

||A fanfiction that basically plays ‘what if the Aerith’s healing rain didn’t come immediately’ angle from Advent Children. Word Count: 1500+ Characters: Rufus ShinRa, Tseng, Aerith Gainsborough Themes: geostigma, forgiveness, subtle hints of TsengXRufus By now, it was an overused joke. The punchline was old, the delivery stale, and every time someone started to say it, Rufus inwardly winced. Only, no one dared speak it. It spoke itself, propagated and spread like a disease that gripped the planet in cycles of wellness and illness. Ironic, now, as geostigma rose as a poor man’s plague within the streets delivering death wherever it walked. And if it was not death, it was suffering.

It was this same suffering that had confined Rufus to a mere shadow of his former self. Crippled, lurking, a blanket clung to his deteriorating form to shield it from harsh rays of sunlight that sought to agitate his sick flesh. But if it were indeed physical pain alone, the blonde would have found the condition tolerable.

Idle hands, however, made for idle minds. And idle minds were prone to linger in the past, a realm far from the power of change and progress. What did it matter now? Here in this church, surrounded by those whose futures were bright, what dreams were even left to pursue? It—Sephiroth was bound to return. And with each iteration of the horrendous comedy show, the former President felt further loss. Again… and again. With each resurgence, another piece of that man he knew, gone. Untouchable. Unreachable.

Rufus smiled bitterly. Then again, during fonder times, it wasn’t as though much had changed. Even then, the small, shy, blonde child could not close the gap. He could only watch as it deepened, swallowed by the tide of unfathomable fate. A fate that had a terrible sense of humor.

“Excuse me” A frail voice sounded from behind him.

Rufus did not turn. He did not so much as acknowledge the sound.

But it returned, none the less, the owner, a child stepping timidly forward, the taint smeared across his face. She had brown hair and a pink dress. “U-um…” She stammered, somewhat intimidated by the dark figures which only know she noticed, hovering about the man in white.

“Y.. you’re an angel, right?” She asked hopefully, chancing a look upwards. But when she saw the black stains on Rufus’ hand, her countenance fell. “I.. I didn’t know angels got sick too…” Slowly, her eyes fell back to the dirt.

An angel…Rufus couldn’t even claim to be one in a fallen state. Couldn’t even claim he was a demon at this point. No, he was far worse.

He was human.

“Mr. Angel..? Am… I going to die?” She asked, familiar green eyes wide, small hands brought together before her chest as though she were petitioning him. In fact, within her grasp was… a flower. Beautiful and white.

Rufus could not answer, so he did not move. However, the girl persisted, seeing that her verbal attempts were futile. Carefully, she stepped on the leg holder to get high enough to reach the blonde and offered her little flower, the petals smashing against the former President’s nose. By this point, Tseng should have intervened, but Rufus had a funny feeling that it wasn’t going to happen. The child was hardly a threat. Unless she intended on choking him to death with pollen.

“P-please… I.. I don’t want to… I’m sorry I went with those men. I-I didn’t know.” She plead, voice tight and frame shaking as to suppress the imminent sob.

“I understand.” Rufus finally said, much to the girl’s surprise as he took the offered flower and smelled it. Or at least, he went through the motions. It wasn’t as though he could really smell anything in his state. But once he did, he carefully tucked the flora behind the girl’s ear. She looked up at him bewildered.

He reached forward once more, this time to hoist the girl up and of his chair, setting her down on the ground. The effort had him almost gasping for air.

Eyes lighting up, the girl quickly looked around before enthusiastically nodding, and with a quickly uttered thank you skipped off. She would have to hold the hope for the both of them.

“Tseng,” Rufus called, the figure forming from the shadows. “We are leaving.”

“…”

The blonde shook his head at the silence, and dutiful as ever, the Turk undid the stops on the wheelchair and as a ghost disappeared with the former President.

Days later, rumors would begin to pour out that the old church underneath the ruins of Sector 7 had begun to fill with water. And by happen chance, an afflicted child had been playing nearby, finding its healing properties. Many people far and wide began to flock towards this once abandoned place. And once more, Rufus found himself within the shadows, watching as people came, stepped within the waters, and sure enough, were freed.

He watched for hours. And overtime, the throngs dissipated. Rufus was alone, left to stare at the rippling water. Geostigma… It felt like a long time since the male had contracted it. Years spanned in the pain filled moments. Millenia filled the quiet ones where Rufus was left with little more than his own mind. They echoed there—his mistakes. His shortcomings. And as tired as he was of the same old joke, Rufus could do little to change the punchline. He was condemned to live in his own skin.

“Tseng.” He called again, voice cracking. “Let’s-“

“Mr. Angel?”

Blinking up, the man came eye to eye with the little girl in the pink dress. She was smiling warmly at him, her face having cleared up completely.

“I knew you would come!” She exclaimed proudly, the flower in her hair still where Rufus had left it, completely untouched.

Quietly, the blonde nodded. Although he was not left completely to inaction. The girl wouldn’t allow it. A small hand reached forward and took his contaminated one, tugging insistently for him to rise.

“Come on! The water isn’t so bad once you get in. And you’ll feel a lot better!” She tugged again.

A child like her wouldn’t understand. The atrocities, the ugliness… Geostigma almost seemed to suit Rufus. Penance, as it were, for horrors unprevented. All for the sake of what, a dream? A deluded idea of grandeur? Believing that he alone dreamt and he alone was to make it happen? If that was the path of dreams, Rufus found it too costly. What had he left here? A few shadows and a name.

When Rufus didn’t respond, the girl in the pink dress paused, head tilting to the side. “Mr. Angel… are you scared?”

Gingerly stepping forward, she carefully grabbed the rim of the blanket that covered the former President’s face and moved it away, the fabric falling about his shoulders. Looking directly at his visible eye, she gave a benevolent smile, one far beyond her years.

Come on.

He heard a voice, gentle, but demanding, cutting through the haze clouding his mind. And when the girl gently took his hand again, he complied, shakily standing as he balanced his weight on his good leg. From behind, the girl looked taller, older still, the subtle scent of flowers wafting through, making the awkward journey a little more bearable.

Before long, the male’s shoes touched the water’s edge, the liquid lapping at the leather. Having come this far, Rufus persevered, walking into the pool before he was led to wade in the center, a depth that would have been too tall for a child to keep their head above surface without swimming. But the girl, the woman, rather, remained tall and serene.

The water was cool, but not unpleasantly so. And as he stared at the surface, he could see the reflection of a weary man. He could not see hers. Shutting his eyes, Rufus inhaled quietly before submerging his head beneath the water.

It’s alright, you know. To be forgiven.

His eyes opened beneath the water in recognition, and before long Rufus stood up at his full height again, water dripping down his face, his bandages having loosened while he was submerged. They were now lost in the pool, along with any sign of geostigma. “Sir?” Tseng’s voice cut through, seizing Rufus’ attention as he turned to see the Turk who had followed him into the water, now also wet from the waist down. The male placed both hands on the blonde’s shoulders, brows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?”

Nodding slowly, he responded. “That girl… she…”

“What girl?”

Rufus froze, turning back to where the girl had last stood, to find no one.

All that was left was a white flower floating on the water. And for a moment, Rufus could have sworn he heard laughter, sweet, bell-like laughter.

“…Tseng?”

A smooth, albeit calloused hand moved to cup the blonde’s cheek, a thumb smoothing over his angled cheekbone. “Sir.”

“Let’s.. go home,” Rufus said, leaning into the touch. And while the water had more or less finished running, a fresh stream racing down and wetting Tseng’s fingers.

And for the first time in as long as Rufus could remember, the Turk smiled, brushing away the remnant water.

“Of course.”

#fanfic #ff7 #Rufus ShinRa #Tseng #Aerith Gainsborough #que

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